Hood Terms/Englishes

English is not my strong point, especially in school. Growing up in Watts California, the schools I attend was not the best in the world. Learning proper English was hard for me, because I had a controlled childhood. My father never let me and my sister speak without being told to do so. Around family and friends my father would not let us, even speak with are cousins, and the rest of are family members. My father felt that his children should behave around people period. He felt that people he knows would judge him and talk about his family that his little girls are “bad ass kids” and he did it want that. As his children he wanted us to understand that speaking is only for adults to do so.

My father is a controlled freak, but over the past years in prison, he’s a cool person then before. All the visits going to go see him, it does seem like he changed a lot. I guess that’s just the prison walls talking for him. Growing up with my father was hard life to live but know seeing change is crazy. I just can’t believe how far I become. To look back on the life I lived as a child it’s funny now, because now I’m paying for it. What I mean by that is, not to be able to speak with pride, and with my head up high is ridiculous. In all this years of going to school, I never let my voice be heard. I was always shy to read out aloud or even get involve because of my lack of words I used to try to speak out. Sometimes I never know what the teacher was asking in a form of a question. Just looking back I feel responsible for not knowing the basic skills of English that is required in a four year college.

Now that I’m in college, from left to right I hear professors, and others telling me that I need help with my writing and even in math as will. Do I feel bad, and responsible? Yeah, but life goes on. I just know now that I have to work extra hard to be successful in college.